Funny (dirty) Joke: The retiring man got a surprise from the hot young wife

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Dean, the town postman, is retiring after 50 years on the job.

So he jumps in his USPS van and collects the last parcels from the post office, and sets out on his last round.

He drops off a few parcels at the local library.

The librarian smiles and presents him with a leather bound volume of The Complete Works of Charles Dickens:

"Here you are, Dean. We know how much you like reading, since you're retiring you've got plenty of time for it now!"

Dean thanks him and continues on his route.

Next, Dean knocks on the door of the town liquor store.

The landlady fetches him a good bottle of 12-year-old single malt whisky.

"We've been keeping this for a special occasion. Pour yourself a large one on us and enjoy your retirement!"

Dean is touched by her gesture and moves onto the last address.

Dean knocks on the door of Mrs Smith, the young newlywed that had just moved into the neighborhood.

She answers the door in lingerie that leaves little to the imagination.

"I've been expecting you, Dean. You'd better come in."

She leads him upstairs, pushes him onto the bed, and jumps on top.

Dean's head is still spinning as he gets dressed.

Then Mrs Smith slips a $1 bill into his shirt pocket.

Before he has a chance to say anything, Mrs Smith says, "We're not done yet," and leads him down to the kitchen.

Mrs Smith then cooks a fantastic lunch of steak, eggs, toast - the full works.

As he finishes eating and takes a swig of his coke, Dean finally has a chance to ask.

"I must say, Mrs Smith, everyone in town has been very kind today, but you've been the kindest of all."

"Too kind, in fact. What on Earth could have moved you to such a gesture?"

Mrs Smith admits,

"Well, I was really racking my brains to think of something nice for you, so I asked my husband."

He said, "Huh, we're new here. Screw him, give him a buck,"...

"But, lunch was my idea!"

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